Two days with Bird Flu

So, I want to take a moment to thank Al Gore for my next idea. Without him, I would still be searching for a way to kill all avian life forms on the planet in one fell swoop.

Global climage change is our key to putting an end to the impending bird flu pandemic. If we can warm the earth by just a few degrees, the earth's climate will shift drastically. Within half to one centuries, we will have birds flying south to north for the winter. No doubt this will cause a lot of confusion with modern birds, which will cause them to make a wrong turn at the border- causing their demise.

Having survived the past two days with the A(H5N1)- known as the bird flu- I can emphatically say that we need to rid ourselves of ALL currently-capable bird flu carriers. I know this may seem shocking to some of you, and most of you know that I have two birds myself. I just want you all to know that they are exempt from the mass killing, and are hereby pardoned for all bird flu related acts. I'm sorry, but they're good people and they deserve to live.

Anyway, this is the first time I've been quite this sick in a very long time. I actually took Nyquil last night, and Dayquil this morning. For those of you that know me well enough, you know I detest taking drugs for any reason. Sickness is just the side effect of the body doing its job, and a good job it does. Anyway, drink your OJ with breakfast, get enough fluid throughout the day, and eat right. That's your only hope against this now raging epidemic. Oh, and kill a bird. That might help too.